‘Are you crying?’ I asked in a funny tone..’Yes..’ came the reply. I started laughing seeing her cry, as this side of her was supposedly strange for me. ‘Shutup..Only those who can cry has a right to laugh and its equally important to cry sometimes as to laugh. Its a beautiful emotion gifted by God to express your sadness, anger, stress, love, memories and even joy..!!’ She said in one go looking at me and wiping her tears off her cheeks and eyes..
Its been more than a year I’ve known her and may be meeting her for the 50th time today but have never found her more beautiful than today or I never noticed, may be. I held her hand to soothe her, for a moment she seemed uncomfortable but soon I could feel her relaxed. ‘I never thought you would have the guts to hold my hand ever..’ she said smiling. ‘Ohh!! I’m sorry for that..I just wanted to soothe you.’ I replied (bit stammering). ‘So you’re sorry for that? wow!! you are dumber than I thought..’ She said giggling. I returned a smile pretending to be ignorant of what she meant.After the movie I arranged a taxi for her to get back home. This was not a usual feeling. I could see that in her eyes, as if she does not want to get parted with me. ‘Bye..’ she said with a mild and not so happy smile. Soon after getting back home the SMSs started flowing, following up with a call.
‘ Are you falling for me? I saw something in your eyes and felt that warmth when you held my hand?’ she asked. I sometimes get stunned with her straight forward attitude. I dropped down the phone from my hand to gain time to think for replying back(Lol!!) ‘Nothing that serious I think, its just the bonding we share, you know..’ I replied. ‘It was much more than that you bet..’ she confronted. ‘How are you gonna prove this?’ I asked with a smile knowing she is most probably right. But how could I accept this to her even after knowing she has a boy friend, I thought. ‘Wateva!!.Goodnight..’ she said and disconnected the call in disapproval of my unacceptance of the whole situation. I spent that night with a bit of uneasiness and uncluttered thoughts.
Life was going pretty good until she called me one day and said. ‘Lets go for the movie this weekend..what say?’ I instantly agreed and was excited about the thought of meeting her (ignoring the reason behind this excitement).
Movie was to be started at 2 P.M. but she asked me to meet a little bit early. I reached exactly on time, but she wasn’t there. I saw her emerging from the parking but there was a guy accompanying her. ‘Hi, he is Aashu my boyfriend. Aashu he is Rahul my best buddy.’ she said introducing both of us. ‘Hi..so you are Aashu’ I said shaking hands with him. Suddenly back in my mind I lost all the excitement about this meeting and one can easily read the discomfort on my face. She looked at me and sheepishly smiled, enjoying the level of my discomfort or may be thrilled with the idea of me not liking the whole thing which simply proves that I’m jealous of Aashu and which ultimately concludes that I’m in love with her. Yes, I’m in love with her. I cannot stand this guy who is holding her hand which I held last week giving birth to so much complications and controversies, I thought. We entered the movie hall and I sat besides her and to her other side was that Aashu (self acclaimed stud). Things got worse when I saw Aashu’s hand on her shoulder to which I felt behaving like Sunny Deol and rip his hand apart. Thank God it was an English movie which ended earlier than my patience level. I had a sigh of relief getting back home thinking no one can know the reason of my bad mood here.
But God had other plans and my phone rung and my worst fears came true when I saw her name on the screen. I knew she’ll rip my mind apart and will dissect each and every portion of it to get that the real thing out of my mouth. I picked up the call ‘Ohh Hi, so you are back home?’ I said pretending to be pretty normal. ‘Shutup you loser, why were you behaving like that?’ she asked shouting on the highest notes of her voice. ‘Behaving like what?’ I asked silently admitting what she actually meant. ‘Dumb ass you were behaving like someone had slapped you hard and you couldn’t hit him back..’ she said and started laughing loudly.At this my feelings started building up and emotions became so superfluous that I couldn’t stop my tears coming out. And I stared crying like a child, trying to control but in vain only. ‘Ohh shitt you’re crying..’ she said. ‘Yes, you’re right I love you this is what you wanted to listen..right? I swear I was never sure about these feeling as you were. Also after knowing you have a boyfriend, how could I admit my feelings to you?’ I said like a child. ‘Aww my baby, I love you too and I always did but stupid, a girl will never come up to you and propose you getting down on her knees.’ she giggled.That particular moment I felt like flying in the sky and no matter how hard I may try but will never be able to give words those feelings and emotions.
I always used to look around for a perfect relationship but never had a look on what I possess.
Now me too thank God for creating the most trusted formula of putting the purest emotions across,i.e: Crying…..Lol!!